big mistake.

i think i maybe might have made the biggest mistake of my life. i had the perfect oppurtunity and i blew it big time. all i can really say is i was so scared. but it is over now and how can i move on? oh goodness i just hope we can still remain friends...well you probably dont know what i am talking about but, last night i was hangin out with a friend (a boy) and we sat and talked on the porch all night and then when he leaned in to kiss me, yes a true kiss, i turned away! oh my goodness do you think i could have been more dumb! oh my! He then left and i felt terrible because deep down i did want to kiss him, i just didnt know how i guess, because this would have been my first kiss. sadly enough, that has been my greatest mistake...well for at least this week.